when did it all begin . it feels so long ago .come to think of it . who thought it has to be this way .
now i dare to defy ,write and make it yours
it has been 18 years since
october 30, 2006
“born on a quiet, serene dawn in the Himalayas”
i finally writing about me myself everything . I can even i don’t know where to start why how and can i . seems to be not funny but a strange feeling and what is so strange also don’t know Sometimes you can’t name exactly what’s going on
or what i would say seems to be overwhelming
who is me . who is not me [ what does it mean to understand someone ?]
it feels so familiar but suddenly a little dazed me or yet I yet I dare to say I ME is a difficult
flower to raise delicate hard to nurture rare bloom , fragile and hard to tend
nauturing me is gentle delicate process , easily disrupted very very delicate ( subtle )
have you hears a song
[ first is Love . You and I are ONE
second is a wish . You are YOU and I am I
third is to wonder WHO you are ? WHAT i am ?
life continue
[ NO MATTER WHERE , NO MATTER WHEN ]
what should i do ?
can you hear me listen now what i am saying
very clearly just listen ( what does existence and non existence yet i am LAUGHING or what is BEYOND )
mean existence and non existence are just waves on the ocean of something deeper. And maybe in laugh, in that lightness you’ve already touched what’s beyond
i am yes i dare to say I am
i who i yes what i does mean what does we I I I I I I I Laughing Laughing hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
all of it the names , the question , the meanings collapse into a laugh
maybe that’s the truth ; not answer but the joy of being absurdly alive.
seems like i have not forgotten ,not all of them but that’s fine
sometimes, the kindest thing I can do
Is simply …… step away
i am not fading
i am returning
to myself
a creation both holy and haunted
me how foolish i am when i am taking photo i don’t but
me trying to flying once again it’s fun even isn’t easy They say a photo is a reflection of a person’s heart. For me, it’s like a mirror — not just of how I look, but of how I feel. Sometimes it catches something the words miss
Pictures aren’t just images. They’re a means of connecting to the rest of the world. Like letters with no words.
And it’s not just the picture — it’s the house behind it, the room, the sky, the quiet — all full of memories. The faces, the walls, the light. My life has lived there. I carry it all inside me.
A single photo can hold a whole story — and even if no one else knows that story, I do. And that’s enough.
Recently, I often reflect on myself, the past, present and future.There is always a warm light in my mind, shining deep into my thoughts. In this world, no road is absolutely safe. Life is not a journey that can be planned. But I want to go to the unknown. However, growth is not easy.
I have a untamed freedom, but I also understand that I have responsibilities for myself. I have a dream, and I want to try it. Even if I fail or fall, I still want to try hard. Because if you don’t try, you will never know if you can really do it.
There are some things, the more you understand them, the more you wish you had never understood them.
I talk a lot, I hope you don’t find me annoying (laughing). Recently I like to read novels, poems, essays and articles, listening to music while reading. Sometimes I also write something to prepare for the university entrance examination.
The weather here is neither too cold nor too hot, just in the middle, and it rains a lot recently.
Looking at the clouds, trees, stars, and the night sky, I really feel very beautiful and enjoy these moments.
Sir, what are you really like? How are you doing recently? Are you happy?
I also often sit up straight and watch my thoughts flow, observing them without judging or interfering.
At the same time, I am learning Chinese, and so many other language like Japanese , many of them is south asian , listening to my favorites songs,music and i like always do knowing about international issues and also within so many countries affairs knowing more about them.
Sometimes, I am like Sleeping Beauty, sleeping like a lazy and cute kitten (laughing).
i wanted travel to sea [oceans] in my heart their is also a sea
i also have deep longing in my heart fly by myself in sky i know but it’s not utopia for me i definitely do it gone through deep abyss depth of ocean and to run as fast i can and fly as high i can long i can not the fall by myself i try by myself again that same energy same ethuastiusm same curiosity same fun same foolish then try to cross that limit try to cross that myself limitless then what it means for that sky so high I don’t wanted THEM come to see ME.i will to by themself meet them untamed
.wild free unrestrained i will break the rules to save my day also myself i also exist to save myself.
their is in my heart
I have a higher mountain in my heart.I no longer care about the mud beneath my feet. If I never climb the cliffs, how can I witness the breathtaking view from atop . because only then i will find there is a scenery that belongs only to the me.Even if I’m covered in mud and scars, I must keep climb toward the peak within me. Without climbing the cliff, how can you appreciate the breathtaking view from the mountaintop without climbing the cliff?
to read different novel seems to grateful to live another lives and lives in another world knowing to myself as same pure genuine curiosity as i was child
I like to go into the unknown. i seems to fun taking risks breaking that safety net
I often ask myself: What do I really want? Sometimes, I think about it for hours, but I still can’t find the answer. their is really no answer my goes completely blank words lost their ability to express because what i that is beyond seeking
Maybe there is no answer, maybe there is no end — but it doesn’t matter. What matters is not “who you become”, but “what you do”.
I really like playing with my brain and thoughts, and I also like being with myself. It feels really fun.
Flowers grow back even after winter — will you too?
This is myself, my life, that I must experience, learn, and deal with on my own.
Meeting myself is the most beautiful accident that happened to me. Everything interests me, but nothing holds me.Travel — I’ll travel across country to country from the countryside to the villages, towns, and cities rising high into the sky. I want to see its never-ending lights, taste its delicious and fascinating foods, and wander its roads, mountains, forests, and ancient lands. I want to feel its heritage, its history, its mighty rivers — stormy, calm, and serene — its deserts, its seasons, its snowy peaks and glaciers, its museums and beyond.
But more than anything, I want to see its people — the most beautiful scenery of all.
I want to understand, to feel, to know, to write. I definitely will write, sir. I will capture it all in my camera, in my memories, in my mind and in my heart. A glimpse of world I dare to be untamed. I dare to defy. And live a life without fear.
Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high.
What will be my youth, will be, I ask? My childhood? What is my inner passion that I should reach for? That time will pass by. Everything will age. That might be why youth is most beautiful.
From the most distant time, majestic, from the most distant time, the sun rises and sets. Time passes and I can’t stop them. The four seasons serve me but that does not belong to me.
The years flow like water. Everything passes away before my eyes.
No matter how cruel the things that happened yesterday were, I, who have lived in this day, can still have true happiness.
When you were a child, happiness was a very simple thing.
When you grow up, simplicity is a happy thing.
When we were children, we regarded toys as friends. When growing up, some people treat their friends as toys.
Children who have never been adults want to grow up so quickly, and adults want to be children.
Because maybe you remember that you used to cry when you were happy. When you were angry. So many emotions, so many feelings — you could show them, not hide them, from your friends, your families.
But now, how many emotions, how many feelings can you show?
You can’t even cry in front of them.
I really want to go home too, but don’t know where.
No matter where I am heading, I think I’m heading towards home.
But not now. I already came this far, so I can’t give up here.
Do you have any idea how suffocated I felt?
Can’t you even ask me if I’m okay for once?
Sometimes I want to cry out loud.
I wanted someone to hear me crying.
I want them to hear me cry and tell me everything will be okay.
I want someone to pat me on the back and tell me that it’s not my fault.
Nothing hurts more than one’s own pain.
Nothing is more difficult than one’s own.
Nothing is more precious than one’s own.
How many goodbyes will I have to say in my life?
How afraid will I be every time?
There’s no such thing as a harmless lie.
It always ends up hurting someone.
I want to go to a place where nobody knows me — and live as if I have no history at all.
You will never know what will happen in life.
Even when you get old, you can’t help but miss your mama and papa.
There’s no such thing as a beautiful goodbye in this world.
It only hurts more and more.
I am not scared of dying.
I never will be. I will face this.
But isn’t it a relief that all this will one day be over?
A luminous moon, the wind in the pine, a long evening, a transcendent view — but what is the meaning of this?
What is the meaning of life? Eternity?
My words — like falling cherry blossoms — falling, falling from trees.
And slowly, I can’t take my eyes from my tears.
The night is too long, but no one is accompanying me through this long, lonely night.
Under the moon, we — we don’t know where we’re headed.
We fight to stay alive day by day.
We run while dreaming of a seemingly impossible future.
At times, it’s chaotic.
At times, you know it isn’t the right way, but you go recklessly.
If you ask why — because we’re…
We’re too young to stop, and too clumsy to do well.
Because we’re not…
Hurtful, painful memories.
Memories of deep regrets.
Memories of hurting others and being hurt.
Memories of being abandoned.
Only I — I, with memories buried in my heart — can become stronger, more passionate, and emotionally flexible.
And those who can attain happiness.
So don’t forget any of it.
Remember it all. And overcome it.
If you don’t overcome it, you will always be a kid — a kid who never grows.
There is a price to be paid for every increase in consciousness.
We cannot be more sensitive without being more sensitive to pain.
We are born in one day.
We die in one day.
We change in one day.
And we can fall in love in one day.
Anything can happen in just one day.
What do you think? I ask you — one more day of unconditional love.
Life is only a series of days.
You can’t own more than a single day.
But you can control one of them.
Twenty-four hours can be curated.
Among all the people you know — how many really understand what’s going on inside you?
In the end, we all become stories.
Can you remember yourself — who you were — before the world told you who you should be?
now i am can’t do it anymore because I'm exhausted .i used to be full of energy but i can’t go on because i’m mentally exhausted
last but not the least t to everyone
Just a small reminder to everyone, from someone who cares — I know it’s been a long time, and maybe no one has asked you lately how you really are. Not the usual “I’m fine,” but how your heart has actually been holding up. I know it hasn’t been easy — I can feel that, because I’ve seen it in others and felt it in myself too. Sometimes, all someone needs is a little recognition, a small moment of appreciation, or just to feel accepted for how hard they’re trying every single day. Sometimes people just need a quiet room for themselves, a space to breathe, to cry, to exist without expectations. Maybe you didn’t get that space. Maybe you had to keep going with a heart that was never given enough time or care. Maybe no one saw that what you really needed was to nurture your improvised heart — the one that’s been piecing itself together with courage and quiet strength. So I want to say this: thank you. Thank you for not giving up. Thank you for staying alive. Thank you for doing your best — even when it felt like no one noticed, even when the days were heavy and long. You’ve come a long way, and I’m proud of you, even if we’ve never met. Please take care of yourself. Be gentle with your thoughts. Don’t let others hurt you, and please, don’t hurt yourself either. Life can be tough, but your heart is tougher. And if no one else told you this — you really did your best.
From an 18-year-old boy who understands more than you might think.
